| guess |
[03 Nov 2009|11:23am] |
i'm going to china!! i am going to CHINA iamgoingto CHHYINAAHH i am going to china china i am going to to to toto toto tototototo CHina China chinA!
I amgonna see some World gonna see some WORLD gonna get hit in the face with some GLOBE gonna get my Trot on! gonna trot the world gonna go to CHINA
i am gonna graduate EARLY and go see some more world gonna see some new constellations gonna see some flying dreams and wishes gonna go places and rove places and meander and squander and steal love and Run and Bike and Fly there i am going to CHINA.
gonna get me chinese cigarettes and a chinese motorbike and make it through some mountain passes on em and i am gonna pilgrimage up to where the mountain lions go and see the sherpa sherp and the yaks yakk and i am gonna know somethin didn't know before and i am going to CHINA CHina CHINA
fearless road warriors I will be gone for long and before long and i am gonna catch kisses while catch can and i am gonna live the shit out of this world.
RWAR!
|
|
| STOOPID |
[10 Oct 2009|12:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
animal collective- sung tongs |
] |
i called off work today to do work today, but i can't stop feeling panicked everytime i sit down to do some. i can and i will be finefinefineughughugh ughhh.
last night i was over hungry when i got home and after i smoked a jay with libby (because i really was just too stressed to do anything but freak out and it calmed me down for a while ) i waited for my food to get here. i got some thai soup and a thai ice tea and this weird pork thing i couldnt eat because it tasted like people meat. after i ate i was so relieved to not be hungry and so stressed out about school i cried for a while in the living room while my housemates pretty much thought i was crazy and tried to calm me down.
i think i have a fever but i cant find my thermometer because i leant it to my horrible housemate shannon who isn't around much, and i do not feel good.
|
|
| in self defense classes you learn |
[21 Sep 2009|10:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
jay z |
] |
i am not feckless nor heartless, but there is a time and a place in a persons life when she has to just avoid the things that hurt her the most. sometimes there is nothing else to be done in the face of the outside world's disappointing and ultimately unlucky inevitability.
i hope you find what works for you and i swear years past i would have tried to be the one reaching out the most. but we cannot pretend that our love is inevitable when it has never even really been attainable. you need to pick yourself up this time and every time, because the universe exists to knock down a motherfucker and the only person a dude can depend on is himself. and herself. and everyones self. that is the definition of a stunner, a true knockout round boxer.
you take punches in every quiet moment in life and you got to work on your rebound til it is perfected.
i guess i shouldnt be lecturing because these are times that occur in everyone's life not just yours, but in reality hasnt this come to be the state of existence of failure and drifting that defines you? how can you bear it? time to really leave and figure it out, don't you think? time to do what you want with your life and be happy. thats what i would want for any of my closest to hearts.
i believe you can do it for yourself, and i will be so proud of you once you do.
|
|
| kungfu fightinining |
[20 Sep 2009|08:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
murmurs of the small |
] |
i am a draft dodger. thats a cowardly move, but its a self preservation technique. the proudest moments of our lives are closer to the moves of action, not inaction. mayhap! we may sit passively by and absorb the technicalities of a generation.
you are sunshine my only sunshine you may the sky clear when clouds are gray. you'll never know dear, how much i love you please dont take my sunshine away. the other night dear i saw you sleeping and dreamt i held you in my arms, when i awoke dear i was mistaken, so i hung my head and i cried. bangbangbangbangbanamamamm
i think i have own forced my gaze to look away from distractions too much, it is ok to look at the big wide world?
|
|
| you're gonna get right back to where its comin' from |
[29 Jul 2009|03:32pm] |
PACKING IS FOR RETARTS!! AND i am ready to move into the house, but is the house ready for me to move in? NOOOO
i am a lil stressed over moving into porter. hmmm!HMMMM... the house is lovely, my dad is going to be fine with moving me! i am just all solitrin-ed outt today. this is the condition that we solitrinskies get into when we have something important to do that requires dealing with outside-the-family, where we pretend to be completely serene but are mostly wishing we could boss everyone around more without offending anybody and be in complete control of the situation.
plus it is so humid here my fro is real out and about today, i look like a mad scientist and its stoopid-frizzy.
uhOH
i cannot wait to come home to philadelphia and visit with everyone and see my friends. i have nice biking muscles and they need to tread some philly soil.
|
|
| plugone |
[06 May 2009|10:41pm] |
|
www.theselby.com makes me want to find an art love and make him do art around me and fall asleep in colors! and also he could use all of the things i bring from around the world? i want live in high places and sherpa sherp.
|
|
| mojitos my old friend |
[26 Apr 2009|08:29pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the pakastani student group |
] |
i love mojitos i love drinking i have been such a happy drunk this weekend. me and my friend krista went on my first bar hopping experience on friday night and i got shmashed, and then saturday night i also got even more drunker on whiskey and beer and coke with friends and i talked with kenny on the phone the whole walk home. that boy is the cutest and he made fun of me all during work today in such a nice way! i like summertime for summertime kisses, no secret there. and in general, ever since spring kicked in i have been getting just enough attention from the fellas and feeling quite comfortable in my skin in a sexxy way too.
it really means something to feel love in DC from a really solid couple of friends and adults too for that matter. i have adult friends here in a way that is weird, but not for me. like i know for a fact there are adults who i work with at the IRC and at johnsons who would want to just go out and chill with me in a fun mutually relaxed way- i don't know too many people who can say that at least among other sophomores in school. I don't really know why that is?
school is almost DONE mwahahahaaa
summer summer i will make outs with kenny in summer. and be drunk all summer. and sleep in sometimes. and make money! Young and Alive aint nothin but trouble and fun!
|
|
| wu-tang in my ears |
[13 Apr 2009|03:00pm] |
|
sometimes i catch myself really being done with people's shit like, when friends start feeling real dysfunctional i can't handle, and I just ditch out of their lives for a hot second, only to reemerge when word is that they're feeling better. i don't know, maybe at school it is just that i am so busy, but i am struggling with this, cuz of my buddy anthony.
his loan for school failed and now hes thinking about leaving school early,because it is so much debt and banks won't give him cash and he wants to join the marines. it blew my mind, he is literally a signature away from enlisting without finishing school. he would fucking go to Afghanistan.
he is a smart cookie too. really smart and it is just a shame, maybe this is insensitive or some shit but like he called me and asked to come up last week and we stayed up with kb for like 3 hour talking about it and i hope he doesnt sign with all my heart. what a mess. she got her dad (the general) to talk to him, theyre having a dinner date tonight in our apartment to work out his head a little.
i just see signing up for the armed service as signing up for a death sentence or like a sentence to seriously need therapy and to get your shit worked out when you get back. like signing up to have your mind blown by badness in the world at the very least.
there is always another choice. there are some people who become men in the military, and there are some men who become broken in the military and there are no guarantees.
|
|
| goodlife on the roll |
[06 Apr 2009|03:26pm] |
since it has been getting warmer out we've been having open windows times all the times, and its really nice and a little breezy all the time. the kitten is still little and he finds the warmest spots: ie, your lap, hair, nookscrannies, laptop keyboard, sunshine spots to nap in. it is awesome to have a lil schnooks who wants to just snug and then jump around when he's all reenergized.
a fluff muffin!
and the florist is hopping with springtime cuties. and so many flowers so many flowers!
lay me out in a bed of fluffy hydrengas and dress me in gerber daisies and play me music with daffodils and snapdragons and bop some chrysanthemums around for a bebop finale! we could bring a flower big band to the alice and wonderland birthday party for my buddy jenna on saturday. I may just do it!
almost done school too. end in sight = rawkin' son!
|
|
|
[23 Mar 2009|09:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 enamoured |
] |
katherine got a kitten- his name is tentatively gazpacho, nicknamed gus. he is a little gray black tabby with big green eyes and he is about 9 weeks? totally cute. i am a moron for this! omg right now he is pouncing with his little toy fish around the apartment! we gave him a sink bath earlier and then he dried off and got totally cuddled and a little napping while we considered names.
permenant spazzing 24/7 should ensue.
<3
|
|
|
[11 Mar 2009|12:02am] |
sometimes in the best kinds of sleepiness, i can listen to HP- goblet of fire on CD and have vinny cut off the circulation to my left leg as i drift off. that's a nice place to be, and makes me glad i came home.
:)
|
|
| best advice i ever got |
[04 Mar 2009|06:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
retarded |
] |
"life is about minimizing regret. you're still /young/ and you haven't completely blown it yet. so don't start now."
from 30 ROCK oh yeah guys- sitcom comedy explains my life.
except not. i am going to fail this shit unless i study and write chinese all winter break. and email my professor that essay by midnight tonight. i wish i could skip school and just be in charge of running a nonprofit ngo already, but that ain't happening. i am not FDR nor somebody else who earned sometimes average grades in college and then went on to be the BOSS.
i am just not that cool. so i have to earn the grades and beast the tests. i need that shit to work.
also i think i write one of these stupid entries about i need to recollect my shit like at least thrice annually, but sometimes, i need to post a pep-tide pep talk. and now is that time.
|
|
| keeping up the day to day |
[23 Feb 2009|07:38pm] |
well tonight i was supposed to go to a mos def concert, and i paid for the concert ticket that i ordered online with my parents credit card, without checking that anyone would come with me. usually i like to do stuff by myself like that, but it is really cold and windy out, and it is warm and i am writing a paper. so i think i'm gonna put that shit on the internet and let some other person take that. maybe. its kind of last minute, so we'll see.
whatever, i just want some company for this venture and nobody is up for it and might as well just sit in and enjoy the peace i got. write my paper at a leisurely effective pace, take a chill pill.
my mom was real fun this weekend, got me some really stunner cute new shoes, classy and sassy.
whatevers, back to work. is it retarded to not go to this concert? i guess i just don't care enough.
|
|
| bali h'ai |
[22 Feb 2009|11:40pm] |
come to me come to me, where the sky meets the sea
i hate work, but i still nerd out for these classes. wtf, hating school only because of the obligation... and the group projects.
if only if only
:)
|
|
|
[16 Feb 2009|12:30pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
baby of mine- tom dorsam |
] |
my valentines could have won prizes for doing things that a lady should do on valentines! with out a prearranged escort to around the town that is. it was awesome and perfect and then the next day was pretty dandy and now i am pretty dandy. i love having katherine back. i love my friends here when they kick in and are ok with being picked up and ready to have fun. i love my mom for sending me valentines day meatballs. i love everyone close to me in my life right now. i love the florists better than anything.
i wish that there was a person version of a calla-lily. i mean like a calla-lily man. he has a sense of humor, but is upright and good. i got to swing dance with the sweetest guy on valentines and he didnt even have a beard but he had glasses and a great smile and it was so ideal. i didnt even need to think about it. he was headed back to milwaukee in the morning! lol i loved it.
delightful off to evolution of jazz and blues, but i thought i would let people know. things can be okay, even after the worst kind of week. and now i feel lighter. what a better way to be. it is a good sign that i feel like myself when i am glad and light.
:) <3
|
|
|
[09 Feb 2009|07:03pm] |
miles davis - maiysha
i think in the soundtrack of life, this is the music i want to die to, and it had better be exciting. i want to be born to belle & sebastian, middle school through listz's consolation in e-minor, love in devendra and joanna, dance in ludacris and work in motown greatest hits.
you? :)
|
|
| i love saturday mornings |
[07 Feb 2009|10:22am] |
this morning Katherine woke up at 7 because she is going on a cruise with her brother. he came back from his service in the army in Afghanistan over break, and apparently they pay you a triple rate or something, so he asked his lil sister to go with him to the Bahamas because otherwise he would have been going alone. i made her Katherine-style trail mix because shes allergic to nuts and loves chocolate chips more than anyone i know.
I am alone here for a week and i think i may need to consider my couch bumming options. i hate hate hate living alone, i am not built for it, and katherine knows it, she basically scolded me for not having someone lined up by the time she left to stay here.
mermermerrr i didnt even realize i was dependent until she left when we usually have comfy sleeping timess.... i feel retarded
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fillesavoureuse's journal