peculiarities are entrancing

guess

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:20:54 GMT

i'm going to china!! i am going to CHINA iamgoingto CHHYINAAHH i am going to china china i am going to to to toto toto tototototo CHina China chinA!
I amgonna see some World gonna see some WORLD gonna get hit in the face with some GLOBE gonna get my Trot on! gonna trot the world gonna go to CHINA
i am gonna graduate EARLY and go see some more world gonna see some new constellations gonna see some flying dreams and wishes gonna go places and rove places and meander and squander and steal love and Run and Bike and Fly there i am going to CHINA.
gonna get me chinese cigarettes and a chinese motorbike and make it through some mountain passes on em and i am gonna pilgrimage up to where the mountain lions go and see the sherpa sherp and the yaks yakk and i am gonna know somethin didn't know before and i am going to CHINA CHina CHINA

fearless road warriors I will be gone for long and before long and i am gonna catch kisses while catch can and i am gonna live the shit out of this world.

RWAR!

STOOPID

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:05:29 GMT

i called off work today to do work today, but i can't stop feeling panicked everytime i sit down to do some. i can and i will be finefinefineughughugh ughhh.

last night i was over hungry when i got home and after i smoked a jay with libby (because i really was just too stressed to do anything but freak out and it calmed me down for a while ) i waited for my food to get here. i got some thai soup and a thai ice tea and this weird pork thing i couldnt eat because it tasted like people meat. after i ate i was so relieved to not be hungry and so stressed out about school i cried for a while in the living room while my housemates pretty much thought i was crazy and tried to calm me down.

i think i have a fever but i cant find my thermometer because i leant it to my horrible housemate shannon who isn't around much, and i do not feel good.

in self defense classes you learn

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:46:45 GMT

i am not feckless nor heartless, but there is a time and a place in a persons life when she has to just avoid the things that hurt her the most. sometimes there is nothing else to be done in the face of the outside world's disappointing and ultimately unlucky inevitability.

i hope you find what works for you and i swear years past i would have tried to be the one reaching out the most. but we cannot pretend that our love is inevitable when it has never even really been attainable. you need to pick yourself up this time and every time, because the universe exists to knock down a motherfucker and the only person a dude can depend on is himself. and herself. and everyones self. that is the definition of a stunner, a true knockout round boxer.

you take punches in every quiet moment in life and you got to work on your rebound til it is perfected.

i guess i shouldnt be lecturing because these are times that occur in everyone's life not just yours, but in reality hasnt this come to be the state of existence of failure and drifting that defines you? how can you bear it? time to really leave and figure it out, don't you think? time to do what you want with your life and be happy. thats what i would want for any of my closest to hearts.

i believe you can do it for yourself, and i will be so proud of you once you do.

kungfu fightinining

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:33:15 GMT

i am a draft dodger. thats a cowardly move, but its a self preservation technique. the proudest moments of our lives are closer to the moves of action, not inaction. mayhap! we may sit passively by and absorb the technicalities of a generation.

you are sunshine my only sunshine you may the sky clear when clouds are gray. you'll never know dear, how much i love you please dont take my sunshine away. the other night dear i saw you sleeping and dreamt i held you in my arms, when i awoke dear i was mistaken, so i hung my head and i cried. bangbangbangbangbanamamamm

i think i have own forced my gaze to look away from distractions too much, it is ok to look at the big wide world?

you're gonna get right back to where its comin' from

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:33:03 GMT

PACKING IS FOR RETARTS!! AND i am ready to move into the house, but is the house ready for me to move in? NOOOO

i am a lil stressed over moving into porter. hmmm!HMMMM... the house is lovely, my dad is going to be fine with moving me! i am just all solitrin-ed outt today. this is the condition that we solitrinskies get into when we have something important to do that requires dealing with outside-the-family, where we pretend to be completely serene but are mostly wishing we could boss everyone around more without offending anybody and be in complete control of the situation.

plus it is so humid here my fro is real out and about today, i look like a mad scientist and its stoopid-frizzy.

uhOH

i cannot wait to come home to philadelphia and visit with everyone and see my friends. i have nice biking muscles and they need to tread some philly soil.

egalitarian optimism fades in the cold neon lights of technological foorhardiness

Sun, 10 May 2009 00:42:11 GMT

nothing like working with people who don't really use the internet to make you realize how much of a class system the internet makes.
i loves hates it
i mostly hate it

but i am a product of internet, and internet can be a product of me!

and that is not a bad thing, it is just a thing.

plugone

Thu, 07 May 2009 02:40:34 GMT

www.theselby.com makes me want to find an art love and make him do art around me and fall asleep in colors! and also he could use all of the things i bring from around the world? i want live in high places and sherpa sherp.

mojitos my old friend

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 00:36:33 GMT

i love mojitos i love drinking i have been such a happy drunk this weekend. me and my friend krista went on my first bar hopping experience on friday night and i got shmashed, and then saturday night i also got even more drunker on whiskey and beer and coke with friends and i talked with kenny on the phone the whole walk home. that boy is the cutest and he made fun of me all during work today in such a nice way! i like summertime for summertime kisses, no secret there. and in general, ever since spring kicked in i have been getting just enough attention from the fellas and feeling quite comfortable in my skin in a sexxy way too.

it really means something to feel love in DC from a really solid couple of friends and adults too for that matter. i have adult friends here in a way that is weird, but not for me. like i know for a fact there are adults who i work with at the IRC and at johnsons who would want to just go out and chill with me in a fun mutually relaxed way- i don't know too many people who can say that at least among other sophomores in school. I don't really know why that is?

school is almost DONE mwahahahaaa

summer summer i will make outs with kenny in summer. and be drunk all summer. and sleep in sometimes. and make money! Young and Alive aint nothin but trouble and fun!

wu-tang in my ears

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:06:28 GMT

sometimes i catch myself really being done with people's shit like, when friends start feeling real dysfunctional i can't handle, and I just ditch out of their lives for a hot second, only to reemerge when word is that they're feeling better. i don't know, maybe at school it is just that i am so busy, but i am struggling with this, cuz of my buddy anthony.

his loan for school failed and now hes thinking about leaving school early,because it is so much debt and banks won't give him cash and he wants to join the marines. it blew my mind, he is literally a signature away from enlisting without finishing school. he would fucking go to Afghanistan.

he is a smart cookie too. really smart and it is just a shame, maybe this is insensitive or some shit but like he called me and asked to come up last week and we stayed up with kb for like 3 hour talking about it and i hope he doesnt sign with all my heart. what a mess. she got her dad (the general) to talk to him, theyre having a dinner date tonight in our apartment to work out his head a little.

i just see signing up for the armed service as signing up for a death sentence or like a sentence to seriously need therapy and to get your shit worked out when you get back. like signing up to have your mind blown by badness in the world at the very least.

there is always another choice. there are some people who become men in the military, and there are some men who become broken in the military and there are no guarantees.

I would Change my Major

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:36:30 GMT

i wish science in real life was this cool:

http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_036.htm

and i wish i could fly, but didnt have the hassle of permanent wings.

goodlife on the roll

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:35:51 GMT

since it has been getting warmer out we've been having open windows times all the times, and its really nice and a little breezy all the time. the kitten is still little and he finds the warmest spots: ie, your lap, hair, nookscrannies, laptop keyboard, sunshine spots to nap in. it is awesome to have a lil schnooks who wants to just snug and then jump around when he's all reenergized.

a fluff muffin!

and the florist is hopping with springtime cuties. and so many flowers so many flowers!
lay me out in a bed of fluffy hydrengas and dress me in gerber daisies and play me music with daffodils and snapdragons and bop some chrysanthemums around for a bebop finale! we could bring a flower big band to the alice and wonderland birthday party for my buddy jenna on saturday. I may just do it!

almost done school too. end in sight = rawkin' son!

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:39:37 GMT

katherine got a kitten- his name is tentatively gazpacho, nicknamed gus. he is a little gray black tabby with big green eyes and he is about 9 weeks? totally cute. i am a moron for this! omg right now he is pouncing with his little toy fish around the apartment! we gave him a sink bath earlier and then he dried off and got totally cuddled and a little napping while we considered names.

permenant spazzing 24/7 should ensue.

<3

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 18:36:55 GMT

http://www.wwtdd.com/photo.phtml?post_key=21291&photo_key=83231

watching brooke holgan pole dance makes me feel better about myself and the decisions i have made with my life.

and that is what celebrity gossip come down to.

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:03:40 GMT

sometimes in the best kinds of sleepiness, i can listen to HP- goblet of fire on CD and have vinny cut off the circulation to my left leg as i drift off. that's a nice place to be, and makes me glad i came home.

:)

best advice i ever got

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:44:57 GMT

"life is about minimizing regret. you're still /young/ and you haven't completely blown it yet. so don't start now."

from 30 ROCK oh yeah guys- sitcom comedy explains my life.

except not. i am going to fail this shit unless i study and write chinese all winter break. and email my professor that essay by midnight tonight. i wish i could skip school and just be in charge of running a nonprofit ngo already, but that ain't happening. i am not FDR nor somebody else who earned sometimes average grades in college and then went on to be the BOSS.

i am just not that cool. so i have to earn the grades and beast the tests. i need that shit to work.

also i think i write one of these stupid entries about i need to recollect my shit like at least thrice annually, but sometimes, i need to post a pep-tide pep talk. and now is that time.

keeping up the day to day

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:57:13 GMT

well tonight i was supposed to go to a mos def concert, and i paid for the concert ticket that i ordered online with my parents credit card, without checking that anyone would come with me. usually i like to do stuff by myself like that, but it is really cold and windy out, and it is warm and i am writing a paper. so i think i'm gonna put that shit on the internet and let some other person take that. maybe. its kind of last minute, so we'll see.

whatever, i just want some company for this venture and nobody is up for it and might as well just sit in and enjoy the peace i got. write my paper at a leisurely effective pace, take a chill pill.

my mom was real fun this weekend, got me some really stunner cute new shoes, classy and sassy.

whatevers, back to work. is it retarded to not go to this concert? i guess i just don't care enough.

bali h'ai

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:43:00 GMT

come to me come to me, where the sky meets the sea

i hate work, but i still nerd out for these classes. wtf, hating school only because of the obligation... and the group projects.

if only if only

:)

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:37:37 GMT

my valentines could have won prizes for doing things that a lady should do on valentines! with out a prearranged escort to around the town that is. it was awesome and perfect and then the next day was pretty dandy and now i am pretty dandy. i love having katherine back. i love my friends here when they kick in and are ok with being picked up and ready to have fun. i love my mom for sending me valentines day meatballs. i love everyone close to me in my life right now. i love the florists better than anything.

i wish that there was a person version of a calla-lily. i mean like a calla-lily man. he has a sense of humor, but is upright and good. i got to swing dance with the sweetest guy on valentines and he didnt even have a beard but he had glasses and a great smile and it was so ideal. i didnt even need to think about it. he was headed back to milwaukee in the morning! lol i loved it.

delightful off to evolution of jazz and blues, but i thought i would let people know. things can be okay, even after the worst kind of week. and now i feel lighter. what a better way to be. it is a good sign that i feel like myself when i am glad and light.

:) <3

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 00:11:29 GMT

miles davis - maiysha

i think in the soundtrack of life, this is the music i want to die to, and it had better be exciting. i want to be born to belle & sebastian, middle school through listz's consolation in e-minor, love in devendra and joanna, dance in ludacris and work in motown greatest hits.

you? :)

i love saturday mornings

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:36:43 GMT

this morning Katherine woke up at 7 because she is going on a cruise with her brother. he came back from his service in the army in Afghanistan over break, and apparently they pay you a triple rate or something, so he asked his lil sister to go with him to the Bahamas because otherwise he would have been going alone. i made her Katherine-style trail mix because shes allergic to nuts and loves chocolate chips more than anyone i know.

I am alone here for a week and i think i may need to consider my couch bumming options. i hate hate hate living alone, i am not built for it, and katherine knows it, she basically scolded me for not having someone lined up by the time she left to stay here.

mermermerrr i didnt even realize i was dependent until she left when we usually have comfy sleeping timess.... i feel retarded

fault lines

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:11:38 GMT

i am over extended. i need to cut back on something and right now it is looking like that will have to be school, because i need money and i love refugees and i love intoxication.

delighted to meet you

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:47:34 GMT

sometimes i think i know people better or not as well as i do. and then i make some little rash decisions about how safe they are or how much they make me insecure.

this all effects whether or not i want to make out with them. some times i catch myself just having all of this excess energy all that wants to go towards one kind of thing, can you guess what that is? and then i feel like a teenage boy, and i'm only halfway wrong so how bad does that seem?

and i know they told us that we get feelings and urges that are natural, but i feel like this is why i need a vibrator otherwise i say such inappropriate things! like that last ommission!

inaugural update

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 07:10:54 GMT

it is so cold that when i wore a skirt tonight my legs were bright red when i got back to the apartment, and now, even under comforter, fleece pjs and toast and tea fillings, they are numb and separate from the rest of my body.

the whole town is packed to the gills with people, and they are mainly darker complected actually! i used to get frustrated that whenever people talked about barack's election, they would have to mention him as our first black president specifically, but seeing all of these masses of people, and feeling this relief in the air and how just light hearted all of the preparation seems to be i can't help but renege my instinctual recoil from racial discourse. tonight apparently there was some huge party held by AU through some club, and Howard University students and locals were all invited. it looked pretty large, the metro stop was packed with people all coming back from it too as well as kids looking for taxis and stuff. something must have gotten out of hand, or something, because one of the girls coming away from the campus stopped me and my friends and was looking for the best place to catch a cab around there. she said they used tear gas and mace? on the kids because it got wicked out of control. i wonder how things happened... there seems like a possibility for some racial somethin behind this heightened reaction, but i wasn't there and don't know yet.

tonight i went to a jazz club and drank wine and had some good ol DC times with buddies. the town looks great and everyone is just waiting for tuesday basically. it should be wild.

new years resolutions

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:01:37 GMT

i know we're a few days in, but here goes:

keep on going and have good fun
don't live with fear
just conquer it! like its an easy thing

savor the savory and swallow the bitter
digested it makes its way to the best kind of end, shit it out
shout it out and no stains are there

vulgarity is just another way for language to amuse anyone, but keep in mind that little kids don't need that.
they're pretty easy to entertain
riding bikes all over the place lets you see the world from above ground and keeps the spirit awake in journey

getting bogged down is no way to keep going
and even if you don't know where exactly you're going, it is okay to stay in motion
even if all you want is to stay where you have been that takes the motion of the world spinning, and you have to do something to ensure that you don't end up upside down eventually.

tadaaaa

roll mad deep or get out of town

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:07:54 GMT

stack it up